Positivity creates an upward spiral. It builds resources, resilience, and opens new possibilities. It propels us into action and keeps us battling through obstacles. Self doubt isn’t as helpful. A negative mindset fogs our judgement like the dark cloud it is. It limits what we see possible and makes it hard to take the next step.
I’ve been making some big changes for the direction of my life lately. Change isn’t easy for me and negativity & self-doubt keep clouding my sunshine. They tell me all the reasons why I can’t or shouldn’t try something. They tell me my goals are unattainable and impossible for a person like me. After a few days of listening to them and having some wonderful quality time with my TV I felt like I was going nowhere, because frankly, I wasn’t.
It was time to choose change instead of doubt. Lasting change.
Five Ingredients for Making Lasting Change
1. Focus on What You Can Add In
Instead of focusing on the limits of your situation, focus on all the incredible possibilities ahead of you. Pay attention to what you can add into your life, not what you have to remove from it. This is an extremely useful tool for making a diet change. When I transitioned to a real food diet I focused on all the foods I was adding in and getting to experience instead of the ones I was removing. I’m almost 4 years into this journey and I still make it a point to buy a vegetable or ingredient I don’t normally use when we do our weekly shopping. When we try something new we feel joy. We might even feel energized. Focusing on what you can add to life with help you to create new options, discover new interests, and broaden your possibilities.
2. Check Yourself
One of the best lessons I ever learned was to check myself. So often we get focused on a goal or a mission only to lose sight of the reason why were focused on that goal in the first place. As you make changes in your life remember to periodically check in and see if they still fit for you. As a highly competitive person it is easy for me to set a goal and keep at just because I’m stubborn, not because it still fits for me. Understand that even change changes. It’s more productive to re-evaluate and adjust your goals than to stay stuck in habits that aren’t working. Think about your ideal future. Is the goal you are working on part of that scene? Did it set the success for that scene? If not, step back and think about what steps you can take to get to your ideal life.
3. Discover Your Process
We all have our own approach for how we learn and how we work best. But do you really know what works for you? Many of us are so goal driven and ambitious that we are unsatisfied until we cross the finish line. We forget to slow down and pay attention to the process. When we barrel through life without paying attention we work 10 times harder than we need to. As you make lasting change in your life take time to reflect on what is working in your approach and do more of it. Duplicate the process into other areas of your life. While the context may be different, the method is the same.
4. Get Back Up
Face it, things aren’t going to always go the way you planned. You will have days where you slip up. Maybe you procrastinated on the blog post you were supposed to write or you ate a candy bar during a 21 day sugar detox. Whatever it was let it go. Don’t let one slip up turn into a land slide. Make note of what didn’t work, but don’t dwell in it. Instead think back to a day where your efforts toward your goal felt effortless. What did you do? What were your thoughts like? Do more of that. View a setback as a set up for a comeback.
5. Teach It to Someone Else
Talk about it. Whatever your change is, talk about it and teach someone else how you are doing it. Not only does this help us to discover our own process, but the experience of sharing is capitalization, one of the building blocks for creating positive emotions. My husband and I are lifelong learners. If we aren’t taking some type of class we are immersed in our own research. To really comprehend and apply what we are learning we always make a point to share it with each other. It helps us to fully grasp it and find our own voice on the topic. I now know more about black holes than I ever imagined and he knows enough about positive psychology to open a private practice. The more you immerse yourself in it, the most lasting change you will create.
Remember that only you can choose to make lasting change in your life. Keep yourself accountable and ride that spiral of positivity to your ideal life.
I would love to hear from you! Are you making positive changes in your life? What’s working for you? What’s worked for you in the past? Post below!
Need a little more support to make that change stick? Let me help you with Health & Wellness Coaching!